The New Cougar Relationship Development

After 20+ years of formal worldwide analysis on the subject of youthful males relationship older ladies, I’m seeing the Cougar relationship development altering. I’m excited to see the final barrier to male/feminine relationships lastly being dissolved and in search of its personal stage towards permanence. There are nonetheless older ladies who desire a boy toy or a no strings hooked up relationship. They could be completely fed up with in search of one thing long run, do not need to remarry and benefit from the freedom of getting a good friend with advantages the place there may be restricted or no drama. And that is high-quality. As I usually say on my Cougar relationship website,”There’s a lid for each pot.” However what I’m noticing and listening to from each women and men on my website is that the youthful males who are usually not “thrill seekers” or inexperienced at Cougar relationship and the ladies who’ve gained constructive experiences relationship youthful males and don’t need to return to relationship males their age or older are in search of one thing extra lengthy lasting, significant and, dare I say it? Everlasting.

Sure, statistics from my website are exhibiting that some 90% of girls are in search of love and maybe even marriage to a youthful man. The BBC reported in a documentary that 25% of our neighbors throughout the pond are fortunately married to youthful males. 30% of older ladies are open to and relationship youthful males in the USA. Though there are numerous newcomers to Cougar relationship, 45% of girls who’ve dated youthful males earlier than and do not plan going again to relationship males their age or older. I’m discovering that the older Cubs, primarily mature younger males of their late 20’s to 30’s and older, are eager about long run relationships, particularly if they’ve beforehand dated or been married to older ladies. The Boy Toys (which is what I name the ‘serial gamers’ are usually males from ages 18 to mid and even late 20’s who’re inexperienced with ladies, laboring below what I’ve termed “The Fantasy of Stiffler’s Mother”, or thrill in search of with as many ladies as they’ll get preyed upon by. Sure, Virginia, the 30 yr outdated male virgins do exist, and plenty of of them are in search of an older girl to indicate them the ropes. The attention-grabbing factor is, as soon as they expertise a effectively rounded relationship with an older girl, they’re means much less inclined to endure by way of the immaturity, selfishness and lack of life expertise of a woman their age or youthful. That is when many Boy Toys convert to devotees of Cougar relationship. As one younger Cub from Atlanta informed me, “I used to be not in search of love. I needed to hunt as many Cougars as I may and simply have enjoyable. After which I met this excellent girl from New York.” He’s completely in love; and is not love grand? He went from desirous to work his means up the age ladder to falling head over heels together with his Cougar girl. I simply love when individuals discover one another, and as I usually say, “there’s a lid for each pot.”

Since Cougar relationship is changing into extra mainstream in the USA, an increasing number of ladies are popping out of the closet. I’m seeing extra ladies from the midwest and the southern states becoming a member of the positioning this yr over final yr, when nearly all of members have been from bigger cities akin to Los Angeles. The UK and Canada have traditionally been “out” and you will be laborious pressed to seek out anybody who has not heard the time period “Cougar”. Hate it or like it, it’s right here to remain so ladies are beginning to embrace it and outline it for themselves. It’s shedding its derogatory connotation and males are discovering that there isn’t any “one definition suits all” Cougar. Because the myths of the leopard print carrying, feminine predator provides technique to soccer mothers, secretaries, financial institution tellers, attorneys, the on daily basis girl replaces the adolescent male fantasy, and girls have gotten extra snug males 7 years or extra their junior and saying, “Why not?” And an increasing number of youthful males are telling me they’re falling in love with their Cougar ladies.

Mainstreaming Cougar relationship is resulting in world large acceptance of this cross generational relationship development; a development which is right here to remain. My members are popping out of the closet to their family and friends members. Actuaries will even agree that statistically talking, it simply is smart for an older girl to fulfill, date, mate and marry a youthful man. I spoke with a retired Harvard educated medical physician not too long ago who informed me that biologically it made extra sense for a girl in her sexual prime so far and marry a person in his sexual prime. The ladies take pleasure in being with a person who’s attentive, affectionate, energetic, important, protecting, enjoyable and has much less baggage than his older male counterpart. The boys love being with a lady who’s nurturing, mature, has life perspective, is aware of what she desires, is not needy, insecure or shallow. The pots have discovered their lids. The lids have discovered their pots!

It’s only a pure segue and a simple look into the Cougar crystal ball to see the plain: There can be extra long run Cougar and Cub relationships and marriages simply across the nook. Thrill seekers, nonetheless, needn’t apply.

Supply by Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.

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